It took me a long time to ask questions.
Longer than I’d like to admit.
I didn’t realize I could.
We do things so automatically that we don’t even realize there are other ways of doing, thinking, living, and understanding. Sometimes questioning things feels offensive — like you’re implying someone is wrong just by asking.
Why do we only go to our own bank?
Why do we assume that’s our only option?
Why do we accept the first answer as the final answer?
As a kid, I pushed back a lot. Not because I was unhappy — I wasn’t. But because I was irritated by complacency. No one seemed curious. No one seemed to ask, “Is there another way?”
I questioned constantly. Interrupted consistently.
And then somewhere along the way… I stopped.
We go along to get by.
We fall into familiar patterns, habits, and mindsets.
That statement never rang more true than the year my husband and I got married — the same year we decided to buy our first home.
The Bank Said No
We were both working full time.
My husband was thriving in sales.
I had just finished university and was juggling multiple jobs — waitressing, tutoring, supply teaching.
We had:
- A solid down payment
- Excellent credit
- Stable income
- Organized, color-coded binders (very on brand for me)
So what did we do?
We went to the bank.
Not multiple banks.
Not referrals.
Not recommendations.
Just the bank where my parents had opened my chequing account when I was a teenager.
We met with an advisor. She was polite, friendly — transactional. We handed over our perfectly tabbed paperwork and left feeling excited.
We were already house hunting.
I had already bought décor at HomeSense for a house we didn’t own yet. (No regrets.)
Then the call came.
Despite strong income, strong credit, and a healthy down payment… we were declined.
The reason?
We didn’t have enough credit established.
Our cars were paid off.
We didn’t carry credit card balances.
When you step back and really think about that… isn’t that strange? We were doing everything “right.”
I asked questions. A lot of them.
The response?
“There’s nothing we can do.”
Click.
I felt crushed. Deflated. Embarrassed. Confused.
And honestly? Small.
The Coffee Shop That Changed Everything
A few days later, my fiancé came home and said he’d spoken to a colleague who gave him the name of a mortgage broker.
A broker? What was that?
If a bank said no, how could someone else say yes?
Begrudgingly, I went to the meeting — convinced it was a waste of time.
We met at a coffee shop.
I thought it was absurd.
This didn’t look “official.”
But she was warm. She listened. She asked questions the bank never did.
We filled out paperwork. Provided the same documents.
Two days later?
Approved.
I couldn’t believe it.
How could one institution give us a firm no — and another find a solution so quickly?
That was the moment my mindset shifted.
There was another side to this world.
Another perspective.
Another opportunity.
And I had almost never discovered it because I didn’t know to ask.
You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know
That experience changed me.
Knowledge matters.
Asking questions matters.
Perspective matters.
Fast forward a decade — and now I find myself in the position of being that person for others.
The one who gets to say:
“Let’s look at this differently.”
“There are options.”
“Let me explain how this really works.”
You don’t know what you don’t know — until someone takes the time to explain it.
Whether you’re a first-time home buyer, refinancing, or simply exploring your mortgage options, the right guidance changes everything.
I once sat in my car after being told no, thinking that was the end of the road.
It wasn’t.
Sometimes the difference between no and yes is simply having the right person in your corner.
Let’s chat- coffee is on me!
Steph C 🙂
Licensed Mortgage Agent | Educator | Financial Confidence Advocate
Serving Simcoe and GTA| Virtual Appointments Available
705-770-3217 | stephaniecortese@themortgagecoah.ca | instagram
